What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

I suppose that most experiences that help people grow the most are painful experiences. That must be true for me because the first thing that came to to mind for me is divorce.

I got married when I was nineteen. It was something I wanted because I was soooo in love. We met in 8th grade. My friend Diann came into the bathroom so excited.

The coolest boy in the school likes you!

Looking back, I think Diann might have had a crush on him. I was unimpressed. Sure, he was a jock, and he hung with the cool kids. But he wasn’t that much of a student. And, worst of all, he had a buzz cut.

All that changed when he danced with me for the first time. My heart fluttered and my stomach flipped. Nothing would be the same.

Fifteen years and four kids after we got married, my heart turned to stone. It happened after a series of ‘I forgive yous’ that were followed by familiar behaviors. I answered the last ‘I’m sorry’ with it doesn’t matter anymore. It didn’t. My heart was cold.

Divorce made me learn what I got out of that relationship. How easy it was to hide who I was in exchange approval. How comfortable standing in the shadow of the cool guy had become.

Divorce taught me who I am by myself. It taught me how much I was capable of accomplishing on my own. It taught me how to look out or the needs of my family.

Divorce taught me to giggle and laugh and dance and sing. It taught be it’s okay to look silly. It’s okay to make mistakes. It taught me that I’m as smart as I thought I was.

Divorce taught me what it was like to really love and be loved: By myself, by my family, by my friends, and finally by Loved-One.

I can’t think of any experience that has taught me more.