Lessons from My 97-Year-Old Mom: Wisdom Across Generations
Mom is 97 today! She was 23 when she had me. Just a kid herself by today’s standards.
How can I describe my Mom at this age? I think my big sister said it best on Facebook.
My mother will be 97 in a few days. She actively keeps track of her nine children, 36 grandchildren, 58+ great grandchildren and 4 great great grandchildren. She loves competitive cards, cribbage or any latest game that we introduce to her. She is not intimidated to pay her bills and keep track of her investments online. Smart TV, PBS and Netflix app, iPhone, Apple Watch, iPad and blue tooth hearing aids are not an issue for this woman. She amazes and surprises me everyday.
Deanna L. Kelly
!To celebrate, my littlest sister took Mom out for a facial. Tonight she’ll be at a small party where she will probably play U-Dog, or Eucre, or some other strategic game. She might be accused of cheating a little. It’s a bit difficult to tell if she just forgets, or she uses that as an excuse to put one over on the competition. I called her this morning to wish her a happy birthday. She was almost too busy to talk to me. I think she put me on hold while she fielded another call from a well-wisher.
Mom fell head-over-heels in love with Dad.
She fell so hard that she offered Novenas in hopes that he would love her back. He did until the day he died. His affection for her was always that sweep-her-off-her-feet sort. The day he died, he reminded me just how wonderful she is.
Mom raised six daughters and three sons.
She’s mended clothes, darned socks, kissed skinned knees, and helped heal broken hearts. She made lunches, read stories, drilled spelling words, and fielded questions. She listened to three or more band instruments, all playing different tunes at the same time.
When we neared high school age, Mom became politically active, annexing our little school district to a larger one, so we could get a better education. This was no small feat. It took a lot of time and a bit of bravery. Things did get heated and sometimes even violent.
Sometimes I think about the changes she’s seen in her life. She lived on too much bread and honey through the Great Depression. She watched her father lose his grocery store because he gave too much credit. She welcomed her brother home from World War II. Uncle Gene suffered from PTSD before there was a name for it. She saw a classmate taken away to a Japanese war camp. She paid attention to the Korean War and the Vietnam War and all the conflicts nobody called war, but still claimed soldiers. She experienced Vatican II, the sexual revolution, women’s liberation, Nixon’s resignation, and draft dodgers flee to Canada and return forgiven. She learned about global warming, paid more for a car than she did her first house, and started cooking with a microwave.
Mom became media literate before people were talking about it. She watches local news, PBS, Al Jazeera, and network news, so she can stay informed.
Mom taught me lots of things.
She taught me how to knit and sew and cook and pray. She taught me that you can learn almost anything from a book or a pattern. And I mean anything. We made Papier-Mâché. We built a training ring for a horse. We trained dogs. And she made legions of Halloween costumes.
The most important thing Mom taught me how to make? Mistakes. She taught me sometimes I fail. I can learn a lot from mistakes. If I’ lucky, I don’t have to make them all myself. I can learn from others mistakes, too. Besides I can’t be perfect at everything and that’s okay.
Mom taught me to never forget the bond I have with my siblings. “Lot at your sister,” she said when we were little. “You will never share as much history with anyone else. Respect her and never forget the connection you have.” I never did. But, that respect bled over to other people as well. She is an expert and looking at situations from another person’s perspective.
When I was a young woman with small children, held both my shoulders and looked me in the eyes and gave me the best advice I ever got:
“You owe no one an explanation for who you are or what you do with your life. Live it. It is yours and only yours. You will make mistakes, have regrets, and need to apologize. Everyone does. None of that takes away from the gloriousness that is you.”
Rita Crandell
Happy Birthday, Mom!
A few people have asked me if the Rita in MAY HIS TRIBE INCREASE is Mom. Yes, and no. I named my character in honor of Mom. The character lived through many of the same things. But she’s not Mom.
Whenever someone asks me who one of my characters is in real life, I tell them they’re all me. After all, they came out of my head. Of course what’s in my head got there through my experiences and observations. So if you think you recognize yourself in one of my novels, maybe something you said or did influenced me. Or maybe you’re recognizing a part of me in you.
