And the Winner Is.... : Black Tortoise Press

oscars 2 For some reason, my “movie watching marathon” ended up more of a drag than a lot of fun. Besides, I was in California last week enjoying the warm outdoors. I got to see the “walk of fame,” and the bleachers were already set up for the red-carpet event.

There should be a new Oscar category: Uplifting (Makes the heart and soul smile.) So many of the movies nominated this year were, well, decidedly NOT in that category. Scroll all the way to the bottom, if you want to see my nominees in this category.

Best Picture:

NEBRASKA: Loved-One turned to me 20 minutes in, “They must be hard-up for nominees this year. I like movies that make me think. I’m still thinking about this one. Or should I say, I’m puzzled about the intended message. Mid-westerners are idiotic dolts?

GRAVITY: A front-runner, I know, but geesh, if I never hear Sandra pant and moan again, I’ll be too soon.

12 YEARS A SLAVE: Beautifully done, and really made me think. I sobbed out loud at the end.

AMERICAN HUSTLE: Thoroughly entertaining. But is there anything break-through here? I think not.

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB: I followed the AIDS epidemic from the beginning (microbiologists do that sort of thing.) This film really distorted the FDA’s role in approving new drugs. Plus, this film causes me concern about what actors will do to their bodies. Matthew McConaughey’s body surely got some damage losing that much weight. Holy Toledo, please, don’t anyone do that again.

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS: I really liked the story, the filming, and the acting. And when I heard that those guys really navigated that tiny boat and boarded the ship…. well, I’m impressed.

THE WOLF OF WALL STREET, HER, PHILOMENA: All no-sees.

And the winner is: 12 YEARS OF SLAVE (but, from what I hear about it, I really wish I saw PHILOMENA. That pic sounds like a great story. I saw the real Philomena interviewed, and she’s quite an inspiration.)

Best Actor:

Matthew McConaughey (DALLAS BUYERS CLUB)

Bruce Dern (NEBRASKA)

Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 YEARS A SLAVE)

Christian Bale (AMERICAN HUSTLE)

Leonardo DiCaprio (THE WOLF OF WALL STREET)

All fine actors; not one rises above the other. Eenie, Meanie, Minie, Mo…

And the winner is: Leo. Okay, I missed the movie, but I have a soft spot in my heart for Leo. Ever since WHAT’S EATING GILBERT GRAPE?

Best Actress

Cate Blanchett (BLUE JASMINE): I did like this movie. The story-line is complex and really makes think about what makes people happy and how we love.

Amy Adams (AMERICAN HUSTLE)

Sandra Bullock (GRAVITY)

Judi Dench (PHILOMENA)

Meryl Streep (AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY): I did not see this movie and I don’t think I want to. I did see a very short interview of Streep. She said it was not “fun” to do this role. The woman she plays is mean-spirited and terrible to her daughters. Streep went on to explain that her own mother was always her biggest supporter; it would be horrible to have a mother she had to portray. This simple, five-minute interview really got me thinking about what actors do to their own psyches in the interest of their works. I probably will never see this movie (or be an actress.)

And the winner is… Judi. Okay, I didn’t see this movie either, but I love Dench in everything she does. (Based on media blitz, probably Bullock will win; I hope not. I like Bullock, but not GRAVITY.)

Best Supporting Actor:

Christian Bale (AMERICAN HUSTLE)

Bradley Cooper (AMERICAN HUSTLE)

Michael Fassbender (12 YEARS A SLAVE)

Jonah Hill (WOLF OF WALL STREET): I didn’t see this movie, but I really liked the interviews of Hill; especially his story about the entourage for the goldfish he put in his mouth.

Jared Leto (DALLAS BUYERS CLUB): There was a supporting actor? Really? The only person I remember is Matty.

And the winner is…. Jonah. (Just because of the interviews. Come on, all these guys are talented.)

Best Supporting Actress:

June Squibb (NEBRASKA) Loved-One said, “Is she even an actor?” She must be good to be that bad.

Lupita Nyong’O (12 YEARS A SLAVE)

Jennifer Lawrence (AMERICAN HUSTLE)

Julia Roberts (AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY)

Sally Hawkins (BLUE JASMINE)

And the winner is… Lupita. (Again, all great actresses. I love listening to Lupita’s story, and I love her sense of style. Not reasons to give her an award, I know.)

Best Director

Alexander Payne (NEBRASKA)

Alfonso Cuaron (GRAVITY) I heard an astrophysicist talk about all the mistakes in this film. Like why would Bullock’s character, a medical doctor be repairing the telescope? Come on, already.

Steve McQueen (12 YEARS A SLAVE)

Martin Scorsese (THE WOLF OF WALL STREET)

David O. Russell (AMERICAN HUSTLE)

And the winner is… David. Just because of all the pieces of this story: Quite an intricate weaving of a tale, Mr. Russell.

Original Screenplay:

AMERICAN HUSTLE

BLUE JASMINE

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB

HER (I did not see this one; but it looks like an interesting story)

NEBRASKA

And the winner is… AMERICAN HUSTLE, no, NEBRASKA, no, BLUE JASMINE, no, DALLAS BUYERS CLUB. Okay, I can only pick one winner, I’ll pick NEBRASKA

Adapted Screenplay:

12 YEARS A SLAVE

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

I didn’t see any of these: PHILOMENA, BEFORE MIDNIGHT, THE WOLF OF WALL STREET

And the winner is…CAPTAIN PHILLIPS. I really like the story and the action. Usually, if a movie has no women in it, I lose interest, especially if it’s out at sea. (Phillip’s wife had a cameo right at the beginning of the film.) Loved-One liked this film a lot, and I practically had to drag him to see, “another Tom Hanks movie, he’s in everything.” I don’t know what he’s talking about, Tom is not in that many films.

Film Editing

12 YEARS A SLAVE

AMERICAN HUSTLE

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB

GRAVITY

OMG, I saw every one of these films. To bad I know nothing about film editing.

And the winner is… GRAVITY. It be hard to make us believe all this takes place in space.

Cinematography:

THE GRANDMASTER

GRAVITY

INSIDE LLEWN DAVIS

NEBRASKA

PRISONERS

OMG: The only film I did see in this category is GRAVITY, oh, I take that back, I saw NEBRASKA, Too. I just wish I didn’t see any of them.

And the winner is… GRAVITY. Again, it’s the outer-space thing.

Production Design:

12 YEARS A SLAVE

AMERICAN HUSTLE

GRAVITY

THE GREAT GATSBY: I know a lot of people didn’t like this film, but I L-o-v-e, Loved it. It’s the first 3-D film where I thought 3-D really added something special. (Loved-One loves 3-D. Me, not so much.) I loved the music, the story, the scenes. Everything. (I read the book, first, and loved that, too.)

HER

And the winner is…. THE GREAT GATSBY. I’m probably wrong, but I’m going with my heart.

Documentary Feature:

THE ACT OF KILLING: This film is haunting, chilling, and thought-provoking. Ugh, I shiver thinking about it.

CUTIE AND THE BOXER: I loved this. Sweet, endearing, and at the same time a commentary on gender roles.

DIRTY WARS, 20 FEET FROM STARDOM, THE SQUARE: I did not see any of these.

And the winner is… CUTIE AND THE BOXER Awww… just because I liked it. I recommend it to anyone striving to be an artist.

Animated Feature

DESPICABLE ME 2

ERNEST & CELESTINE

FROZEN

THE WIND RISES

THE CROODS: The only one I saw this year, and I sorta wish I hadn’t.

And the winner is…. Who cares? Please make better animated movies next year.

Costume Design:

12 YEARS A SLAVE

AMERICAN HUSTLE

THE GREAT GATSBY

THE INVISIBLE WOMAN and THE GRANDMASTER: I did not see.

And the winner is…THE GREAT GATSBY, of course.

Makeup and Hairstyling

DALLAS BUYERS CLUB

THE LONE RANGER: I loved this movie, but most kids these days don’t know anything about the Lone Ranger. Plus, I love Johnny Depp. I might have loved him before WHAT’S EATING GILBERT GRAPE. With both Leo and Johnny in Oscar worthy movies this year, I had to introduce Mom to Gilbert Grape. What a great movie.

JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA (I didn’t see this, and I hope I never do.)

And the winner is…. THE LONE RANGER. (Just because I’m loyal. DALLAS BUYERS CLUB will probably win.)

Visual Effects

GRAVITY

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG: I feel the same way about this film as BAD GRANDPA, I’m not watching on principle alone. The book is delightful, why ruin the story with all these complexities?

IRON MAN 3

THE LONE RANGER

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

And the winner is… GRAVITY. All these movies have great special effects, but gravity will win.

Sound Mixing

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

GRAVITY

THE HOBBIT: DESOLATION OF SMAUG

INSIDE LLWYN DAVIS

LONE SURVIVORS

And the winner is… CAPTAIN PHILLIPS. As I said before, I hated all the hyperventilating in GRAVITY. The other three, I never saw.

Sound Editing

Wait, this is different from Sound Mixing? I know nothing about these categories.

CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

GRAVITY

THE HOBBIT: DESOLATION OF SMAUG

ALL IS LOST

LONE SURVIVOR

And the winner is… CAPTAIN PHILLIPS. In my opinion, a whole lot of sound should have been edited out of GRAVITY, and I never saw the other films.

Original Score:

GRAVITY

SAVING MR. BANKS: Really, that was an original score, it seemed so familiar.

THE BOOK THIEF: I have yet to see this film. I loved the book, and I heard great things about the movie. It’s on my list of movies to see.

HER

PHILOMENA

And the winner is… GRAVITY. That’s the one thing I really did like about this movie.