[tweetthis]No, Abby, no. You failed to think this one through.[/tweetthis]

I like reading “Dear Abby,” the same way I like reading the Horoscope or guessing how old the celebrities are on their birthday (I give myself ±2 years for a “correct” guess. Did you know Gloria Steinem is close to Mom’s age than mine?) Oh Abby, you got this one so wrong.

My version of the letter and the response:

Dear Abby: I’ve celebrated Thanksgiving at my house with my children for the past 44 years.  Last year my daughter-in-law, Daisy, wanted to celebrate with her mom because of her mom was recovering from cancer. I relented.  This year she wants to do the same. She kindly invited me and hubby to join her and her parents.  I don’t want to go, told her so, invited her and her parents to my house. She hasn’t replied. I’m afraid I’ll be missing the grandkids. – Grandma KnowsIt.

Abby: Daisy obviously wants to start her own family tradition. Suck it up, go to her house,  and agree to alternate years with her.

Me: Abby, did you miss that KnowsIt has children, not just a child?  Agreeing to go to Daisy’s house, and alternating years, disrupts the whole dynamics of Thanksgiving.  Tradition belongs to more than Daisy and KnowsIt. Daisy, 44 years means that KnowsIt is probably at least 64 years old. Maybe she can keep up the tradition for another 20 years, but chances are she’ll want some help some time sooner than that. KnowsIt, did you forget that 44 years ago, you started a new tradition?

Okay, so here’s the advice from The Black Tortoise. (I learned this, like so many things,  from Mom’s example.)

As families grow and change, traditions should be flexible.  KnowsIt broke with tradition at some point.  I mean, she hasn’t been hosting Thanksgiving from the day she was born, and even if she did, that would have broken someone’s tradition, assuming Thanksgiving was part of her DNA. Changing tradition willy-nilly, with no discussion with your other children is a recipe for disaster.  DON’T DO IT. By the way, have you talked to your son about this?

This house started hosting a Halloween Party twelve years ago. CoCo wanted the party, and I wanted to […]

Good Golly! I had no idea we wasted so much food! $165 billion/year; 20 pound/person.

[tweetthis]According to October 2015 Sierra Magazine, 30% of the food in the United States ends up in dumpsters.[/tweetthis]

This video will take about 1o minutes of your time.  Even the first 3 minutes will make and point, and make you laugh.  I bet you’ll enjoy the whole thing.  I did.

 

I remember when Mom looked watched the grocery store for blackened bananas to go on sale: perfect for banana bread.  She got windfall apples to make applesauce.  Cider came from blemished apples.  We joked that wormy apples made protein-rich cider.

For our part, we try not to waste food.  I can’t remember the last time I had to dump an unrecognizable leftover because of the blue fuzz. We eat leftovers. What we don’t eat fresh, we cook, preserve or freeze. This time of year is a bit stressful with all the veggies ripening at once.  We  use bones for soup stock. We can also donate to the local food pantry.  We also put fruit and veggie scraps in a compost bin for next year’s garden.