I love meeting new writer friends. I had such a good time sitting a down and talking to Mona. We had so much in common. Mona is from Montreal. I love Montreal. Such a beautiful and diverse city. Well, Mona has more snow right now than I do. So, I won’t be visiting her anytime soon.
Mona is the author of Superwoman: A funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood. I got my copy on Amazon. Clicking this photo will get you right to it.
To get us started, here’s a little bit from Mona’s official bio:
From struggling single mother to top 100 humor blogger, columnist, and prolific writer, Mona Andrei is best known for her candor and sense of humor. She’s the author of
SUPERWOMAN: A Funny and Reflective Look at Single Motherhood (Cynren Press)
and
LEAVE NOTHING TO CHANCE: 15 Principles for Success and the Stories that Inspired Them (Tremendous Leadership)
Mona is also the host of the Single Moms with Moxie podcast.
When Mona isn’t writing or interviewing for the podcast, you can probably find her dancing. As a member of a competitive hip-hop team, she likes to think that she’ll be young and cool forever. She may be delusional.
Oh my! I laughed so much while I interview Mona.
Tell me a little bit about yourself: I was a bit of a rebel when I was a kid. I remember Mom saying, “Oh wait, you wait.” (Just like my oldest daughter, I told Mona.)
I have one brother who was 2 1/2 years younger, but in many ways, he was more mature than me. He passed away several years ago.
We didn’t live on a farm like most of the rest of my family, but because I lived in the countryside, I was around horses and other animals.
I remember getting to kindergarten and looking around at the children playing with each other. I felt like I was out of place; like I was the only one who didn’t know anyone. Really, it couldn’t have been the case because most of the kids were from the countryside, just like me.
My parents divorced when I was a teen. After that, we moved to Montreal. That’s when I decided I no longer wanted to “color between the lines.” Do I regret it? Probably. Dad told me, “You don’t need to be so stubborn all the time.” He was probably right. Still, there are good things about knowing your own mind when you’re young. We learn to be who we are at an early age. Yet, it’s good to know how to follow along, too. I guess it’s all about balance
I have four children, three girls and one boy who are all young adults now. When I just had the two girls, I had a friend over who had two boys. The girls put their dolls on the floor and had a tea party. By the time my friend left, the rambunctious boys had all but destroyed the house. I believe there’s male competition, which seems to be in their DNA, that makes them naturally bolder and rougher than girls.
(Having two boys and two girls, I can sorta relate to that. I really thought going in, that it’s all about how you treat them, not what sex they are. Hmmm…I soon learned that I didn’t know as much as I thought I did, and I would never know as much as I needed to. But back to Mona.)
I met my current partner way back in high school. We hadn’t seen each other in forever. He must have started following my writing through Facebook. At any rate, he messaged me, encouraging my writing. He was happily married at the time, but then his wife fell ill and passed away. That’s when we begin to grow our relationship.
How long were/are you a single mother? I’ve been a single mom for most of my adult life, and most of their childhood. There’s a ten-year gap between two sets of kids. The father of the older daughters moved far away; the father of the other two lives closer and he’s more involved with the kids. The father of the first two girls left when the second was still a baby. I was alone for about 8 years before I met my second partner. We were together for about six years.
You’ve said you want everyone to feel free to be her “authentic self.” What do you mean by “authentic self”? To live your authentic self is a choice, a confidence thing. It’s the ability to lead with integrity and acceptance. We learn to be authentic as we become comfortable with our personal likes and dislikes and when we become brave enough to express our own likes and dislikes even if they’re counter to that of others. This can be done without hurting other people’s feelings. It’s not just about relationships. In writing, it’s when you’re writing the way you think, the way you speak. If that’s quirky, that’s being your authentic self. On every level, you are being you. I’ve been told that my voice is quirky, and my writing is surprising. I write the way I think and the way I speak.
(Hmmm.. I’ve been told my writing is ‘easy’. It took me a bit to understand that was a compliment. I work quite hard at writing stuff that’s easy to read. I digress. This is about Mona.)
I like the way you intersperse chapters that are “thoughts with..” throughout the book. The pages are even a contrasting color, so it’s clear, at a glance, that these chapters are something different. How did you come up with that idea? The whole purpose of my book is to help single mothers realize they are not alone. I really wanted to incorporate other people’s experiences. One mother (Margery, and Donna too) has a child with special needs. I can’t speak to that, but other women need to hear about her experience. Another mother is a single mom because she was raped. I can’t speak to that, but other mothers may need to hear her story.
Did you incorporate or edit blog posts into your book? My blog is a humor blog, not a single-parent blog, but some of the posts are about single motherhood. I also write articles on parenting, so I repurposed some of those for the book. I knew at the time, that these things would be going into the book. I signed a contract with the publisher about 4 years before the book came out. I was ghostwriting another book during that time, so I had to finish that book first.
Have you written other books? I’ve contributed to other books and I’m in the process of writing another book with a working title, Hormones, and Eyerolls, surviving living with teenagers. I remember going through menopause at the same time my kids were teenagers. It’s hard to be a teenager. You’re not a child anymore, and you’re not an adult yet.
(OMGoodness, do I remember those days! I still can’t figure out which reactions were because of my hormones, and which were my kids. Back to Mona.)
What made you decide to write this book? I felt like it needed to be out there. I looked at other books of the genre. I wanted to bring humor into it, even though some of the topics are heavy. I wanted to share what I went through and laugh at myself at the same time. Humor is always a good thing.
What’s your biggest writing challenge? When I’m writing I get consumed by it. I had to focus on the ghostwriting because I had deadlines to meet. So, I had to put this book on the back burner more than I wanted. Working on a book, or reading a book can interfere with my writing a book. Still, I find that reading is a good way to overcome writer’s block. Reading is so inspiring.
I’m kinda known as a memoir writer. Now I’m also writing a novel about a serial killer. I can only work on it during the day because it creeps me out too much and then I can’t sleep or I have nightmares. In general, I’m not an outliner, but I know where I want the story to go. Fiction writing is different. The characters tell me where they want the story to go.
(I admit, I’ve had characters wake me up at night telling me what they’re doing next. So annoying. And helpful.)
What do you hope to get out of publishing your book? I really wanted to connect with other single moms. I wanted to remind them they are not alone. There’s more to life than laundry and you have to take care of yourself, too. It’s not just about being a mom, but being an individual, too.
What was your day job? I’ve always been a writer in one way or another. Mostly I’ve been involved in marketing and communications.
What advice do you have for people who have had a similar background as you? I remember wishing I had a “family.” Later I realized, oh my god, we have a family. It may not be a traditional one, but it is our family. All that time, I was really wishing I had a husband or a partner, we didn’t need it. Sometimes when you’re alone, it can be overwhelming. Just appreciate the family that is yours. Before you know it, it will be behind you and you’ll be missing it all. You don’t know whether you’re doing a good job. Nobody knows because there’s no manual.
I had a lot of fun getting to know Mona. And, lucky me, she asked me to be on her podcast! I’ve never been part of a podcast. I’m a little frightened and excited. I plan to be my authentic self. Here’s where you can find Mona’s podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/single-moms-with-moxie/id1651485774 And, Mona introduced me to another author who I’ll be interviewing very soon.
Here are some other places where you can connect with Mona
ca.linkedin.com/in/monaandrei/
https://www.facebook.com/MoxieDude
https://www.instagram.com/mona_andrei